So, I went to play soccer just now at JJC without my dad knowing. hehe. And, I still can't play yet cause my knee still hurts abit. I just wanna be able to do something to escape from the harsh realities of life, and I can't even do that. How unfair can life get? But, why me? And not someone else. Am I really that unlucky? I guess I am, huh. I always don't get what I want, and I force myself to believe that it's cause, there's something better in store for me. But fact is, when I dont get what I want, my life starts to spiral downwards. So how do I manage without soccer now that you're gone.
I wish you could see how you not talking to me is affecting me.
What did I mean to you? Surely I couldn't have meant nothing to you. Then why were you so heartless? I trusted you, but what did I get?
Sometimes you don't realise what you've lost, till much later. And then it hurts so much when you realise.
Every night, I look up at the sky and pray.
I shall not be selfish and jealous. I won't be, anymore. And no matter how hard it becomes, I'll try my best to control myself and be happy for you. Even if it hurts me badly, I'll be happy for you and keep my tears from falling.(:
All these while, I've always said I hate someone and things at such. But now I've realised, you can't really hate a person. It's just the absence of love for the person cause of a sudden incident that made you really mad. (:
I really feel damn screwed up now. But why me?
Awesomely long since I blogged, right? Life's been pretty good for the past few days. Went to east coast in the attempt to learn how to cycle but I din't learn in the end. And after doing doubles with char for about an hour both of us left. Then went to aloha changi for jjc soccer girls chalet. The food was good and played snap jack and IDK what game with poker cards. It was fun, too bad I couldn't stay over. If only I could stay over): I wanna get a job! I will blog another better post when I have more time(:
I've never felt so lost before. For once, I wanted to be preoccupied with alot of things. To have something to do constantly so that when I lay on my bed, I won't stay awake and think about all the mistakes and cry. I'd rather just drop dead tired on my bed and wake up and continue another tiring day of a new or same routine. I really wouldn't mind. But it won't help, right? Running away from all the problems. The farther you run, the harder it gets to deal with all those problems. So, as soon as I'm back from vietnam, I will sort everything out, no matter how hard.
Like how footprints dissapear on the sand as the waves hit the shore.
I don't want to be like those footprints, I want to be a part of you.
I want you to remember me.
No matter how much I deny, I still want you...
